New House number? Here’s how to shake off the alien feels in a new neighbourhood

neighbourhood
Home alone, on a lazy Saturday afternoon, you stand, looking out your window, wondering if you belong here, if you fit in here, and when you will. It feels all foreign and new and strange to you, and feeling like a fish out of water probably best describes it.

We all know that foreigner type of feeling, when you move into a new home in a totally new neighbourhood, whether it’s a down a street, or you found the home within an estate environment. I mean no one necessarily expects you to be best friends with all your neighbours, whether you’ve been there for a short period of time or forever, but who says it isn’t beneficial to be on good, warm, speaking terms with some neighbours? You never know when you’re going to need to borrow a shake of salt (oh we aren’t doing that no more? Oh, how times have changed!), or where you’re going to find love if you’re single or widowed right? Just saying…But you get the drift.

So how do you break down the walls, shake off the I’m new jitters, and build some relationships within your neighbourhood?

Smile, Play Nice, Say Hi!
Yes, meeting and getting familiarized with people can be tough. More reason why the ice needs to be broken. And sometimes all that’s required is to wear a genuine smile when you walk pass neighbours down the street, or at the local super mart, not in some creepy, stalky kinda way, but you know in a nice neighbourly formal way.

Be careful though as to where to draw the line with married folks so your nice gesture isn’t misconstrued, and so you don’t send out the wrong signals. You don’t want people talking in whispers about you every time you walk past, or your neighbour’s wife banging your door at 10pm at night, threatening to give it to you for giving her husband the dirty stare, do you?

Still, make it a habit to be cordial and greet your neighbours. Even if you’re eager to unload and unpack, ignoring your new neighbours will send the wrong message. Since it only takes a second for others to form a first impression of you, give your neighbours a smile and wave.

Be kind. Give up your spot for the next person in line if they’ve got kids or maybe to an invalid. Let someone go your turn if they’re just paying for one item at the local grocery store. Lend a hand if you see someone struggling with a handful of shopping bags or something. It’s amazing how quickly offering to help can break down barriers.

First of all, Introduction
You can, tactfully and tastefully introduce yourself and strike up a conversation within the first couple days. Spare a couple of minutes to meet your neighbours. You don’t have to go around the entire neighbourhood, but you should certainly take the time to introduce yourself to your immediate neighbours. Do this right away to avoid making it an awkward introduction later.

If you live within a gated safe community, be quick to mention without too much details and specifics if you’ve got a wife, kids, and what you do for work passively, just so it puts the other person at ease, and nothing gets mixed up, and do mention that you’re new to the neighbourhood which is why you’re doing this, not because you’re an attention seeker or aimlessly stalking.

Half the time your neighbour in return will most likely reciprocate the gesture, and then you’re off to a good start with not feeling so out of place anymore in your new neighbour. Also, that way you can refer to your neighbour by name when next you bump into them. Funnily enough, a huge percentage of business transactions and relationships are forged within the neighbourhood, depending on the kind of neighbourhood you live in. It’s true we now lived in closed off times where in highbrow neighbourhoods, everyone goes about their own business reclusively and barely even see each other. Still, these tips will come in handy for those exceptional times when you chance upon a one-on-one.

Embrace the estate/neighbourhood groups
If you live in an estate type of neighbourhood, chances are that you have an estate association that comes together to handle issues and formulate policies that enhance living conditions of the estate residents, usually with a nod from the estate administrators. Why not get to know the officials of the estate association, and even some members as well?

That shows goodwill on your part, that you actively care about your neighbourhood, it speaks well of you as a person, and is also a great way to network. Attend meetings when possible, contribute actively to policies, decision making, engagements and events, and even don’t be shy to donate for a good cause, especially if the system is transparent and efficient. You’d be pleasantly surprised how these little acts set you apart and you even become a force to reckon with within your neighbourhood, just the kind of person the right kind of people want to get to know.
Need I remind you that cultivating and sustaining relationships while positioning yourself in the most positive light is everything?

Host a housewarming party
For the climate we live in, I’d say wait on this for a little while until you’ve gotten to know some neighbours to a little extent before hosting a house warming party at your home. Yes, open your home up to your neighbours, it’s a great way to be inclusive.
This is not something you’ll do all the time, it could be a one-off event, but it’s a great way to tap in and get a good feel of folks living around you. I mean, you might as well get to know the people living near you, if they’re going to be living near you for a long time no?
As I recommend, proceed from the known. Wait till you’ve forged a few friendships within the neighbourhood, and then you can have a housewarming party, inviting those you’ve come to fairly know, and then you can ask them to come with a family plus 1, say a wife or kid, or even ask them to come with another neighbour they know relatively well. Again, this would depend on the kind of neighbourhood in which you live. You most certainly would have done your homework as to the calibre of people who live into the neighbourhood you’re moving into, right?

Plug in with kids
Meet people via your children. If you have children, that’s another neat way to find other parents at your child’s school or after-school activities. Very often schools send out e-mail directories of their students’ contact information for school events, interhouse sports activities, playdates or parties.

Go out, don’t be a 247 indoor body
Go out. Probably people in your neighbourhood are outdoors perhaps in the evenings or at weekends. You won’t meet new friends if you’re just watching TV or at home in front of the computer, so get out there.

Above all, as a caution, listen to and go with your gut in all things. If some neighbour rubs you off the wrong way constantly, or you’ve got a nagging bad vibe about a neighbour that just won’t go away, it’s probably best to listen to that voice inside your head. Especially if you have young kids. Teach them acceptable behaviour and lay down the boundaries when it comes to dealing with neighbours.

It takes time, getting to acclimatise and getting to know the right neighbours. However, you’ve set the ball rolling if you apply the suggested tips above. Who knows, you just might be saying “I do” to a neighbour, moments down the line. Or get a huge business partnership secured with that tycoon neighbour, or can afford to go out on date nights with the hubby while your trusted neighbour baby sits your kids or they’re all on a play date or sleepover together. Wouldn’t that be nice?