How couples come uncoupled with no future investment

Wanna know what a major conflict between almost a third of adults in relationships is?

Money. So why can’t couples seem to get it right when it comes to finances, making poor financial choices and decisions that rob them of the opportunity of making beneficial, rewarding investments?
Take a look at certain financial mistakes couples, shouldn’t make. Nah, don’t do it.

Going into a marriage bird box, blindfold style:
Marriage isn’t all roses and butterflies. There are tough, straight, deep, and imperative financial conversations to be had. Before proposing or becoming engaged, have a series of candid, direct conversations about money. They won’t be easy— but that’s how you know you’re off to a great start.

Do up a list of important grounds and subjects to cover, and both parties need to answer these questions honestly and forthrightly:

What are your short- and long-term financial goals?
What’s uppermost on your mind when it comes to financial priority? What’s a subsidiary financial priority?
Where would you both like to live: neighbourhood, rented or bought property? How much is this really costing you, overall?

Can you afford to live in that neighbourhood on your earning or income, or are you counting in your partner(wife’s) earnings? What if one of us decides to change careers and takes a salary cut?
Do you foresee the possibility of one spouse staying home with children or both spouses continuing to work?
Where do you see your career and income going? Where do you see mine going?

 

It’s important to continually review and have these searching conversations until you and your partner are extremely clear on each of your financial visions, how the other one fits in, and both where your visions connect and where there’s a disparity.

Budget stick fail
True living on a budget isn’t fun, there’s a lot you’d have to forego, many sacrifices to be made. It requires cutbacks, discipline, and deferred gratification. But while it’s not fun, it is a key ingredient for building real wealth.

 

If you spend and splurge on every naira you make, you will never amass wealth of any kind, no matter how much you earn. Instead, wealth arises from channelling money into investments. But it takes both parties to stick to a budget, regardless of the strong urgings and temptation not to. If one partner keeps spending every penny, it doesn’t matter how prudent the other partner is.

 

You could try out challenging yourself to live on half your earning. You’d be shocked what that would amount to for a time period and what discipline you’d learn that will affect other areas of your life as well.

 

A positive turn around in finances
So unexpected funds hit your account, or you got a raise in salary, what’s your 1st impulse?
If you’re like most people, you either move into a bigger home or buy a fancier car. And what happens to your wealth? Nothing. It doesn’t rise a bit, because even though you’re earning more, you’re not saving and investing more.

 

Once you’ve set a budget you can live with, freeze it. As you or your spouse get raises or earn more money from your investments, shunt that money right back into more investments. That way, your higher salary actually converts into higher wealth, not just the appearance of wealth.

 

Regular financial status check
Everything changes eventually, including your circumstances. Kids come along, or you move to a different town or take new jobs; conditions on the ground change. You need to adapt, and the only way to do that is in concert with your partner.

 

Start by reviewing your net worth every month. You can track it automatically through a service like Mint. By keeping your net worth in your financial focus, it stays real for you, even in the face of all the more tangible “things” you’d rather be spending money on.

 

Also track your monthly passive income. That’s a key number to work toward growing every year. Most of all, keep an ongoing dialogue about your financial vision and goals.

 

How do your relatives fit into the big picture?
So, do you bear the entire brunt of caring for all of your relatives, put together? That’s most likely a burden too heavy to bear for couples looking to invest, unless of course, you’re mihghtily well off.
What happens when and if one of your parents becomes incapable of living on their own?

 

No one likes to think about that possibility. But it’s very real, and if you ignore it, then you’ll suddenly find yourself faced with needing an urgent answer when your dad falls and breaks his hip.

 

Don’t assume your spouse would embrace the idea of your parent(s) moving in, and don’t assume your spouse wouldn’t invite their parents to move in, either. Talk it over now, before it becomes a household emergency.

 

Putting Retirement Savings Last Instead of First
Your retirement contribution should be the first “expense” to come out of every single pay check. Find a way to automate it, whether it’s a deduction through your staff salary account or business account.

 

Becoming financially free is the ultimate goal, the top of the ladder from middle-class to wealthy. Or, at the very least, being able to live without clocking into a job every day needs to be your first priority. Think about the burden of dependence you will create, having others support you in your golden years because you didn’t save enough to reach financial independence by the time you’re no longer able to work. That day comes faster than you think, just so you’re clear. Your retirement must be your first priority.

Financial Unfaithfulness
Financial infidelity is when one partner hides money or assets from another, whether for their own private use or as a protection against future divorce losses. It’s an enormous betrayal of trust to lighten down figures of what your net worth really is to your spouse.

 

True, it’s not easy to win your spouse over to real estate investing if they’re sceptical. But you’re asking for serious marital problems if you hide financial transactions and assets. If you can’t trust your spouse with your finances, you have no business being married.

 

The point is, relationships and marriage are hard, especially after the first year or two when the honeymoon phase is over. Everyone has their own financial priorities, and they won’t necessarily align.

 

It’s your job to align yourself with your partner. Discuss your goals and priorities, and negotiate them. While you can’t get everything you want, you can probably have most things—it just means sacrifices and compromises elsewhere.

 

Start with financial stability as a shared priority, then look at financial independence. The less you rely on a 9 to 5 job for your household income, the more freely you’ll be able to pursue other goals and dreams.

 

Just make sure your spouse wants to go in the same direction you do, or you’ll face a life of never-ending conflict and struggle.